Dark Decisions
by XForgottenxMemoryX
Summary: ONESHOT. A simple dream. Someone once said, "We appreciate light because we have been in darkness." But there's no light where Mikan stands.


Okay, so one day I was just sitting in study hall with nothing to do, and suddenly this just popped into my head. It's a random - but meaningful - dream, and it goes along with my version of Mikan (meaning the Mikan who chose to take Natsume's place, covered in darkness, so Natsume could stop killing himself by taking missions). While I was cleaning out my documents, I happened to notice this one and thought I'd take a look.. and guess what I found o.O. I was surprised I'd forgotten about it..

**Please do take note that this was written about a year or so ago, so it probably sucks.**

**_Let me repeat that for people who don't take the time to read these notes:_**

**Please do take note that this was written about a year or so ago, so it probably sucks.**

After thinking about it, I decided that I just might, I repeat - _might_, use this in one of my stories. That is, _if_ i can find a way to make it fit.

_Yes, it's all centered. Don't like it? Too bad._

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim any rights to Gakuen Alice, whether it be the characters or plot. Everything _except_ the idea of this dream belongs to Tachibana Higuchi, _thank you very much_.

o.O.o

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Darkness

_Mikan's Dream_

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o.O.o

Mikan slowly looked around her.

She was standing in the middle of darkness.

Everything was black.

_Everything._

There was nothing.

_Nothing._

That didn't really frighten her.

After all, she'd been living in the darkness for the last four years.

The thing that frightened her was something more important than that.

Her friends weren't there.

But of course, they wouldn't be.

She'd chosen darkness over light on her own.

_'To protect the ones I love..'_

_'I'll give up everything..'_

_'To keep them safe..'_

_'They must be naive of the danger..'_

_'It's okay..'_

_'I don't need any friends..'_

_'Nor do I need family..'_

_'I don't need anyone..'_

_'All I need is myself.'_

_'No one else..'_

She'd told herself that, and yet..

It still bothered her that her friends weren't there.

There weren't there to comfort her.

They _couldn't_ be there to comfort her.

She'd chosen her fate that night..

..the night that she died.

Shaking herself out of her daze, she started walking.

Her friends had to be somewhere.

They wouldn't be in the darkness, so..

She'd look for the light.

As she walked, she felt a calm sensation within her.

She was still in the darkness.

_Her darkness._

She was still safe..

..from herself, at least.

But what would happen..

..when she met her friends again?

She wouldn't be safe.

She would struggle to cross the barrier..

..between her friends and herself..

..even if the darkness..

..isn't meant to meet the light.

She stopped walking and looked up.

There in front of her..

..was the border.

Her friends stood on the other side, still and silent.

They smiled upon seeing her.

Even Hotaru managed a true smile.

She just looked sadly at them..

..a single crystal tear sliding down her face.

_'Gomen..'_

_'Gomen ne..'_

_'Please.. just stay where you are..'_

_'..don't bother with me.'_

_'Don't come any closer to the darkness..'_

_'..that you don't need to see.'_

She smiled sadly at them and shook her head.

Mikan had reached the edge of the border.

Just ahead of her, the darkness ended abruptly.

Where the darkness ended, the light began.

The border was just a simple line..

..between light and dark.

If Mikan wanted to, she could easily step over.

Step over, and in to the light.

Where her friends waited.

"Mikan.."

"Mikan.. I'm here.."

"..come back, Mikan.."

"..please.."

She stiffened.

That voice was all too familiar to her.

_Natsume._

Mikan took a step back.

_'No.. no, not him..'_

"Mikan.. come back.. to me, to us.."

She took another step back.

_'No.. stop it.. leave me alone.. please..'_

"Mikan.. please.."

Again, she backed up.

_'Stop it before I waver.. Natsume..'_

"Mikan.. why..?"

She froze.

Mikan couldn't see him, and yet..

She knew he was there.

In the light.

Of course.

Because.. that's where he belonged.

Natsume was never meant to see this darkness.

Never..

He was never meant to be a part of it.

And now he was free.

But what now? He knew..

..she'd been tainted by the darkness..

..the darkness he never wanted _her_ to see.

It was too late.

Even if she wanted to..

..she knew the light would only protect her..

..for a little while.

From what?

_From herself._

She knew.. she shouldn't get too close.

Her friends were so near..

..but so very far away.

_'Don't get close to me.'_

_'Don't ever come near me.'_

_'It's not safe.'_

"This is where I belong."

_'I don't want to be here.'_

"Leave me alone."

_'Stay with me..'_

"I don't care about you anymore."

_'Please, don't believe me.'_

"Don't come any closer.."

_'I don't mean it, really!'_

"..to the darkness you don't need to see."

_'You said that once before..'_

He stood frozen in front of her.

_'..Natsume.'_

They all did.

"What.. Mikan?"

None of them understood.

She didn't belong with them..

..she didn't belong in the light.

This was where she belonged.

_Her darkness._

"I don't need you anymore."

Her gaze was cold.

No longer could she be the caring Mikan..

..it was time to change.

"Stay away. I mean it."

With that, she walked away.

Mikan turned her back on her friends..

..on Natsume..

..and walked away.

Right back into the darkness that had tainted her.

And all the while..

..their voices echoed behind her,

_screaming her name._

* * *

There you have it. A random, depressing dream.

If you're wondering what I meant by the line, "She'd chosen her fate that night.. the night that she died," all I can tell you is that it doesn't mean she _literally_ died. Think about it. Kind, caring Mikan versus cold, hateful Mikan. If she changed so suddenly, don't you think it would be right to say that "kind, caring Mikan" died? That's basically what it means, although we all know Mikan would never truly change that much.

**It'd be nice if you RxR. Just to let me know you still care about me.. since I'm such a failure of a writer. After all, I haven't updated in quite awhile (unless you count finishing chapter one of Mission: Secrets).**


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